on being compassionate to first time moms

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I remember one instance in particular.  I was a new mom with a 5 month old, walking into Chick-Fil-A to meet some friends for lunch.  They were all seasoned moms with 3-4 kids in tow.  In I went with my baby, a high chair cover and an avocado to feed him.  I remember sitting down and them looking at me like I was ridiculous.  There was much conversation that day about how uptight first time moms are.

I wanted to cry.

It just seemed like over and over, until I had my second child and left the First Time Mom Club, I would here this sort of stuff everyday:

“Oh honey, you don’t need those expensive prenatal vitamins.  You’ll be lucky if you even remember to take them with your next pregnancies.”

“You make your own baby food?  Ohh, that won’t last long.”

“Just give them french fries, they’ll be fine!”

“You won’t be this uptight once you have more kids.”

“Cloth diapers?  You won’t have time for those once you have another.”

“You really don’t need that baby monitor.  My kids survived just fine without one.”

“Yea… only first time moms use those shopping cart covers.”

… and of course:

“You’re having a home birth?!  You’ll learn your lesson and definitely be drugged up for your next deliveries.”

It felt as if I was supposed to give up after having only gotten started.

I just wanted to scream, “Okay guys, I mean Mom Experts, I get it!  But don’t forget you were once a first time mom, too!”

Because, although those comments came from people I knew and loved, all it did was make me feel isolated, not to mention ridiculous.  Like I just cared way too much.

Here’s my point.  Being a new mom can be lonely and hard and exhausting. They need encouragement and support.  For the love, they were just handed a tiny little person to keep alive, let’s let them embrace every ounce of being a first time mom!

By the way, I have since ditched the baby monitor and maybe I don’t carry around a shopping cart, but both of my kids eat food I prepare and I don’t forget my vitamins.  I had a natural birth with my second child also, and Lord willing I’ll do that with possible future kiddos. Moms are moms are moms and we should support and love each other, whether it’s their first time or not.

We find our own way and eventually look around and realize… the kids are alright.

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3 thoughts on “on being compassionate to first time moms

  1. Well, I’m with you. I used cloth for all my kids – last one not until much later ’cause he was 31 ounces! – had my kids at home, made all their food and etc. Some of us just didn’t get lazy. Good for you!

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